


Emails and Surnames, Among Other Things

by Lady_of_the_Spirit



Series: Accidental Antichrist Acquisition [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adam and the Horsepeople are mentioned, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Famine is referred to as Raven, Frannie deserves a raise for this, Gen, it's romantic only if you squint but I (the author) choose to read it as pre-relationship, this is Frannie's time to shine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_the_Spirit/pseuds/Lady_of_the_Spirit
Summary: Frannie read the email once. Then twice. Then three more times to make sure she understood the words on the screen.Then, after a few minutes of deciding whether or not she was willing to deal with it or not, she finally dialed her boss's personal number and waited for him to pick up."What the hell do you mean, you've had a kid?" She asked as soon as he answered.
Relationships: Famine & Frannie (Good Omens)
Series: Accidental Antichrist Acquisition [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877113
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Emails and Surnames, Among Other Things

**Author's Note:**

> #FrannieRights
> 
> I'm using creative license for how often the horsepeople got together, and a little bit for the laws for getting paperwork done for newborns (because I don't know how you do that).

Frannie read the email once. Then twice. Then three more times to make sure she understood the words on the screen.

Then, after a few minutes of deciding whether or not she was willing to deal with it or not, she finally dialed her boss's personal number and waited for him to pick up. It was a Tuesday and it was nine in the morning her time. Raven was in England at the moment for what he had called a family gathering, leaving her in charge of the office for the morning, and she knew he didn’t answer business calls on vacation. It was infuriating, but she lived with it. 

He would always answer his personal number, and she was strategic in how often she called him and what she called him for that every so often she could spring some work-related news on him. She wished this was one of those calls, just so she could avoid the potential headache this call might bring. 

"What the hell do you mean, you've had a kid?" She asked as soon as he answered. 

“It’s not what it sounds like,” he said immediately. 

“Are you _sure_? Because it sounds like you have a kid now.” She reread the opening line of his email: _Frannie, I’ve had a child. I need you to start making the following arrangements..._

“Yes, I’m sure.” He paused. “Well, I _do_ have a child now, but it’s not mine.”

“Oh, that clears everything up, thank you.” She half-wondered if she would be ethically bound to call social services or the police if he explained himself. 

“It’s hard to explain. But _essentially_ ,” which meant he was leaving out a _very_ large chunk of his story, Frannie knew from experience, “my siblings and I have taken in an abandoned child.” 

“Taken in,” she repeated. “You didn’t think to go to social services?”

“Carmine suggested it,” Raven said. “But the situation is a little more complicated than that, so that’s not really an option for us.”

Frannie pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering if this conversation would end up giving her a headache or not. Everything to do with her boss’s personal life was some kind of complicated, she had learned over the years. She had also learned how to roll with the punches and handle it. Usually, that meant explaining to potential business partners why Mr. Sable wasn’t being rude by not eating at business dinners, or ignoring the fact that he seemed to never eat but was perfectly healthy, or the odd moments where he would recall some random historical fact as if he had gone through it himself (and something told her she wouldn’t be surprised if he had). Sometimes it meant him going on “business trips” to countries around the world and disappearing for a few weeks. Sometimes it meant that she had to not question the pictures of his family he’d sometimes show her (even though Azrael was constantly dressed in a tattered black robe and photographed from behind and more often than not Carmine would have a bloodstain somewhere on her person). 

Usually, it did not mean him adding a whole new person, a _child_ , to his life. 

But no, she could handle this, too. 

“How old is the kid?”

“He’s a newborn. About two or three days old.”

Frannie let out a low whistle. A toddler or even an older kid would have been hard enough. But a _baby_?

“What?” Raven asked. 

“You know I’ve got siblings with kids,” she said and did not elaborate. She figured he would find out himself soon enough what he was in for. “Alright, what’s the kid’s name?”

“We called him Adam.” Raven paused. Frannie wondered how they would have come by a child without a name in the first place. “We, uh, haven’t decided which of our last names he would take. Or anything about that, actually. I’ll have to talk with them. What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Between us, we’ve got Sable, Zuigiber, White, and... well Azrael doesn’t have a last name.” Another thing she was just not going to question. “Do you think for Adam, we should just choose one of our names, or hyphenate them? And in what order?”

Any residual irritation she may have felt at him springing the news on her as if it was no big deal melted away at his words. It might have been a small thing, a surname, but he was asking for her advice on his child’s name, and that wasn’t small to her. 

“Well,” Frannie said, thinking about it, “if you wanted to hyphenate the names, alphabetically would make sense. Or maybe in order of oldest to youngest sibling. It would make his name a little more complicated, but I think you should hyphenate. If he’s your son, you wouldn’t want him only having one of your surnames.” 

“He’s not really my _son_ ,” Raven said. “More like my... ward.”

“Whatever.” Frannie waved a hand in the air. “You’d want him to have your last name if he was yours. And I’m sure your siblings feel the same way.” 

Raven was quiet for a moment. “I’ll talk it over with them. But in the meantime, would you mind starting to put together some paperwork?”

“Of course.” She looked at the list he had made for her. “He needs a birth certificate?”

“And possibly birth records, too. He doesn’t have any. Anything a newborn child needs, in terms of paperwork or proof of existence, he doesn’t have any.”

“I’m really starting to wonder if I should call social services on you, boss.” 

“I assure you, this child was acquired through completely moral means. More or less.” 

“Yes, that answers _everything_ ,” she said dryly. “I’ll get started on all of that as soon as possible, and I’ll send it all to you to finish when I’ve done everything I can.”

“You’re the best, Frannie,” he said warmly, and she had to smile. She knew he wasn’t just trying to placate her. 

“I know,” she responded, tossing her hair over her shoulder. With a final goodbye, she took a few seconds to sigh and wonder what exactly her boss had gotten into. 

Frannie did wonder if she would get to meet Adam, and if so, she hoped it would be soon. The youngest of her niece and nephews was four years old. The new baby smell wore off fast, newborns were ridiculously cute when they were so tiny, and the sight of Raven being a guardian and caring for a young child would be hilarious. His sleep schedule was strange enough already, so that may not be altered much. 

She _desperately_ wanted to see him trying to deal with baby spit-up on his Armani suits and laughed out loud at the image in her mind. 

Then she sat up straight, cracked her neck and her knuckles, and got to work searching up how to get documents for a newborn child. She had not made it to where she was - the top of Dr. Raven Sable’s business _and_ one of his closest friends and confidants - by slacking off. 


End file.
